the dentist

i went to the dentist last week, and the nurse took some x-rays of my teeth like they usually do at a routine tooth-checkup. they put those little things in between your teeth to make the x-rays work, know what i mean? they taste horrible and tend to have sharp edges that hurt.

every time i go to the dentist, they try to stick those things in, and they always end up saying over and over again, "bite down, bite down!". they can't tell that i am biting, i am biting, because my front teeth don't touch when i'm biting down all the way. i think what i have is called an overbite. right? maybe. the point is, my teeth don't touch and when they realize that i am biting down and that the teeth in the back are touching, they say, "oh..." and leave me alone about it. except for sometimes they ask if i've seen an orthodontist about it.

as it happens, i have seen an orthodontist about it. he explained the procedure to me, and it goes like this: first they wait until my jaw stops growing, when i'm around 19-20 years old. then they take me in for surgery, break my jaw, rearrange things, sew me up, and send me home. for the next several years i wear braces, a face thing at night, and so on.

i'm not sure if and or why anybody would go through with such an operation, but they sure do try and convice you that it's something you badly need. i didn't fall for it.

the only thing that bothers me about it is that eating sandwiches or meat can sometimes get a little messy, or not go well at all. since my front teeth don't touch when i bite down on a sandwich, i often end up dragging the insides of the sandwich (cucumbers, pickles, and meat products are most often victims), onto my plate, lap, face, or other surface. other than that the only side effect is that some unusually perceptive crazy people think i have a problem with my face. and dentists yell at me.